I ran across some old journal entries

like real journal entries

there was a time late 2009 that I for some reason decided to do away with all punctuation and grammar

I guess I made this decision because I have always been bound by the two  both have hindered my creativity making me want to be right rather than creative  so I just made sure all of the syntax structure grammar usage punctuation and all that jazz was painfully perfect  but I think that I focused too much on that and did not allow my ideas to blossom

I was really frustrated fall 2009 and I had a lot of ideas knock knocking at the door of my brain that really wanted out I began to notice how often I would stop my free flowing brainstorming ideas and think whether I needed a comma or something stupid like that

when I used to keep a journal diaryish thing in junior high and high school I always thought that maybe one day someone would find them like when I was older or if I died or something  I did not want whoever found my journals to think that I was stupid so even back then I was focusing on getting at least part of the grammar and punctuation usage correct

I guess last year I was just very creatively fed up so I went a few weeks with randomest writing  letting my ideas flow and writing without even periods and without erasing or scratching out and writing where ever on the page I wanted

and I am doing that right now just for fun for shits and giggles to see if how it lands

perhaps will come back to it sometime

but it is also very chaotic  it is a nice way to break up my militaristic writing style sometimes to allow ideas to flow and break up blockages

but when I went back and read these old journal entries they made no sense I had no context for them but perhaps that was the point too and perhaps my journaling should not have a context and does not need to make sense

even to me


About heathencomehome

question marks & ellipses
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