Sitting drinking some gynostemma tea about to make some oatmeal (which has become my staple morning meal) post rebounder.
Wanting to write…and to not write. That means there must be something I want to say.
This morning feels good. Started reading Last Night a DJ Saved My Life yesterday. I’m reading it at my roommate’s recommendation because in a month I’ll be playing a young introverted self-sabotaging wannabe DJ. Take out that last part and replace it with actress, and it’s uncanny! 😉
But, the book is amazing! I’m only like 30 pages in, but I’ve loved it so far. I think it taps into my nerdiness a bit because right now I’m only in the beginning and it’s tracing the origins of the DJ and so going back to the beginnings of radio and even of sound recording and all that lovely history you only ever learn in like communications classes in college (and my Mass Communications professor was Korean and had very poor English, and I found it ironic that I could rarely understand my Communications professor.)
So, the book is tapping into my nerdy side. It is also tapping into my actor-y side. Because I keep underlining things not because I find them all that interesting or relevant but because I am finding them to be things that are interesting and relevant to this particular role–which is making the whole reading of this book twice as fun! It’s making me all giddy and excited to explore and play around more with this character.
I was scared of her at first, which for me is always a good first sign. In fact, I am the second actress to be cast in the role–the first girl was fired. But, I do have an “in” considering my best friend wrote the script and will be directing the feature.
Nonetheless, I was scared of the role and didn’t think I had all THAT much in common with her (haha!) and was probably actually just scared of what I DO have in common with her. I’m embracing that more now as I begin to simply embrace myself. Lovely how that works out!
I am getting really excited to have a life to explore and be with for the next few months. And I love the fact that every time this happens I get this giddy and it is just such a reminder and also a relief to know that I can have that feeling and, yes, I do know what things make me happy–I DO know what I love to do! And when I can do and get to do and just DO what I love (not just things with acting–any of the things I love–but acting is a big one) I forget troubles. I forget little worries. For awhile or even for a moment, anxiety stops. Which, wow, that is so huge, so crucial, so spectacular of a feeling. It’s like being in love without needing another separate person…unless you count your imagination….yes, it’s like being in love with your imagination. Oh, gosh that feels so divine! Perhaps that means making art is like making love with your imagination. Wow, that’s hot.
Wow, yeah, what a hot way to start of a typical Tuesday!