Ok, so in my world there is a lot of talk of ‘healing’–needing it, getting it, receiving it, giving it, offering it, allowing it, etc. I teach yoga. I practice yoga. I hesitate to call myself a yogi/yogini because it feel that that title requires a more disciplined religious devotion to the path of spirituality that is yoga. I am not that disciplined. It is more than exercise for me, of course…it is also the closest thing that I have to a regular organized-ishy spiritual practice. It could be called by others my religion, but not by me. It is a an outlet I often use to plug into my spirituality.
I have had two previous jobs at what many would probably consider “hippy” type places. I worked at a raw foods restaurant for several months and then at a holistic spa earlier this year. Both of them in or near Venice, CA.
I live like 5 blocks from the most extensive natural health foods store that this country has. I spend nearly everyday there…at a tonic bar…where they serve up superfood smoothie, concoctions, herbal teas, tonics, immunity shots, and other herbal, holistic, natural cures for any ailment–physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. And I’ve met many an interesting character there as well as some of my closest, dearest, most trustworthy friends.
That being said, yeah, I am immersed in a world of “healing.” In fact, I’ve heard that word SO much since moving to Los Angeles, that I think this place must be the healing capital of the world!
But over the past year, it’s really had me thinking, “Healed from what?!” Like, seriously, nearly all the people I hear talking about being ‘healed’ or needing to be ‘healed’ are some of the healthiest people I’ve ever met! That, or they are people that I see or know who claim to be eating the healthiest and living the healthiest lifestyles. It’s not like I hear overweight homeless alcoholic drug addicts claiming the need to be healed.
Being in this world has–on several occasions–convinced me that I am in dire need of healing as well…physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual–all of ’em…and multiple times by multiple modalities.
Over a year ago I was living with a friend of mine for a few months of transition. She told me that her boyfriend didn’t like the word “healed” or “healing.” I talked with him about this one evening. He said that he felt like it was overused and/or used improperly and that it created a need for healing among a lot of people. He didn’t see what a lot of us really needed to be healed from.
He and I didn’t talk much. I didn’t get to really pick his brain on it. But, it did start some ideas a-forming in my brain.
I still do use that word. But each time I have to check it with myself to see if it was really necessary.
I completely and wholeheartedly believe that we are all ever just searching for the answers…in whatever it is that we do…and many of these hippie types I spend all my time with think the answers will all come once they are “healed.”
What if we don’t need to be healed? Any of us. What if we are already healed? What if we are already whole? What if we are already where we are headed? What if we are already Divine?
What would it hurt any of use to assume the best instead of the worst? What if I am already who I am to be?
How do I even know what ‘healed’ is? What does that mean–to be made whole? And if I’m not whole right now in this every moment, do I even want to be whole? What if I want to be a tad bit incomplete?
…Because I’ve often thought that the incomplete state is life…and death completes the cycle…makes us whole…back to the source. So, with this yet one more theory I have on death & life, I do not at this time want to be completely healed…I’m OK being un-whole and incomplete.