I walked by a mirror and wanted to break it…

I have moments that I’m pretty sure almost everyone has.  Times when I’m driving and for a split second I consider ramming into the car in the adjacent lane or when a curve is coming and for that split second I consider just slamming on the gas and going straight.  When I walk by someone and for a fraction of a moment wonder what it would be like to just smack them or punch them right in the face.  Times when I’m walking through the grocery store and I want to run amok and just start throwing things off the shelves.  Times when I want to look someone right in the eye, about an inch from their face, and just scream until I have no voice left.  Times I want to punch a hole in the wall.  Times I want to break a window.  TImes I want to run out in the middle of traffic just to see what will happen.

Perhaps it’s my curious mind.

Right now I feel like I just broke my own heart.  Like I’d promised I’d always be there and my love would never fade.

I feel like breaking.  NOt like breaking something or like breaking apart.  Rather I feel what I perceive ‘breaking’ to feel like.  I feel that word.  I feel breaking.  Breaking describes my current feelings.  Not like something/s is/are breaking .  Just breaking.  That word.  I feel breaking.

Very well could be breaking something/s…or it could be a breaking point.

I still feel optimistic and slightly positive.  But when I connect with myself in all honesty and truth of this moment, I feel breaking.

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About heathencomehome

question marks & ellipses
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