I have moments that I’m pretty sure almost everyone has. Times when I’m driving and for a split second I consider ramming into the car in the adjacent lane or when a curve is coming and for that split second I consider just slamming on the gas and going straight. When I walk by someone and for a fraction of a moment wonder what it would be like to just smack them or punch them right in the face. Times when I’m walking through the grocery store and I want to run amok and just start throwing things off the shelves. Times when I want to look someone right in the eye, about an inch from their face, and just scream until I have no voice left. Times I want to punch a hole in the wall. Times I want to break a window. TImes I want to run out in the middle of traffic just to see what will happen.
Perhaps it’s my curious mind.
Right now I feel like I just broke my own heart. Like I’d promised I’d always be there and my love would never fade.
I feel like breaking. NOt like breaking something or like breaking apart. Rather I feel what I perceive ‘breaking’ to feel like. I feel that word. I feel breaking. Breaking describes my current feelings. Not like something/s is/are breaking . Just breaking. That word. I feel breaking.
Very well could be breaking something/s…or it could be a breaking point.
I still feel optimistic and slightly positive. But when I connect with myself in all honesty and truth of this moment, I feel breaking.