Shoot…I woke up an hour earlier than I thought I needed to.
Not usually a big deal. I’m usually a very earlier-riser. But, I didn’t get home until after 3AM last night, so getting up at 8:30, is early.
Yes, that’s right 3AM! Who was I last night?! Not something I’ve done in sooooooooo long! And had fun last night with a bunch of people I barely know. It kind of made it fun to be whomever I wanted to be. Well, that and the copious amounts of whiskey I consumed.
One disappointment was that I really don’t think I made any real human connections with anybody. I talked with people in depth and had a great time. I even flirted and developed a new sort of crush. But, one of my favorite things to do is to have a really deep conversation with someone and just talk and talk and talk. I think this is why I typically do not like parties that are too large.
The saving grace, though–dancing! F’n LOVE dancing! I danced last night. So, I guess instead of deep conversation, I had it with my feet and the floor.
Still wishing I could’ve had both, though. I mean, like, I don’t really know what I took away from last night! Did I learn anything. Yes, perhaps this about myself. But, I would like to say that I met some people that I really got to know. Didn’t happen.
So, it almost in a weird way feels like I crashed a party last night. Because I knew barely anyone going in and this morning I still know barely anyone. That said, I am so very grateful for the guy I know by face but not name who gave me a ride home. Very generous of you man in my AM CrossFIt classes who was dressed as a vampire.
Had fun last night…with a crowd of people not my own. Just not a group I could fit into. Have been trying, and I gues that’s what I’ve learned–I’m not gonna fit in with ’em! That’s ok. I fit in with very very few people. I’m a misfit. I am the square peg trying to fit into a round hole. It ain’t gonna happen. No more trying.
I’m accepting me. I’m also accepting that last night was fun. Unattached fun…and a lesson learned in who am and who I am not. I have my one or two (perhaps 3) people who I do fit in with. Perhaps there isn’t a “crowd” or a “group” to which I belong. That’s ok. I think I’m complex enough to constitute my own group…