A process has begun

There is a man sleeping in my room right now.  I sneakily crept off to CrossFit the morning before sunrise and am now back and still do not want to disturb what has become a month-long distraction.

My distraction has strong arms and broad shoulders.  A mischievous smile and greenish eyes.   I tall, quiet distraction that has taken me on hikes up mountains and swam with me beneath waterfalls and bathed in natures natural hot springs and watched the sun fade behind a mountain while holding me on the beach. Both literally and figuratively.

But, that is not what has impressed me.  I am so impressed right now that I have a man sleeping in MY bed!  this is a very first for me!!!  Never EVER has a man slept in MY bed!  And we slept like babies.  A dreamless sleep. Well, for me, anyway.  And I so rarely can sleep next to anyone!

Yes, I’m so shocked right now over last night.  Not over him.  Or over me.  Or over anything other than a peaceful night’s rest for the both of us that did not involve me waking up a million times or asking him to leave so that I could sleep or moving to my couch in my living room.  I have a man in MY bed RIGHT NOW!

It is all so surreal.  I never EVER allow anyone there!  it is my sanctuary.  It is sacred and holy.  it is where I let go.  It is where I surrender most fully and completely.  It is where the true me finds comfort and rest…and home.  I brought a man HOME with me.  for the first time ever.  EVER.  This is huge for me.

I am entering a brand BRAND new territory here!  I have no idea where to go from  here or what to do.  It is uncharted territory. it is something I’ve never done before.  New experiences await, I’m sure.  I’m moving head-first towards the fear of the unknown surrounding all of this.  I am moving into an unfamiliar forest of opportunities.

I’ve never been here in this place or anywhere similar before. I love discovering new experiences.  And I’m going to explore this discovery–like 16th century explorer of the New World.

I’m moving into fear because I promised myself I would do more of that this year.  Well, here I go…

I don’t know where I’m going or where this discovery will lead.  To other discoveries, I’m sure.  But, those are not destinations.  I have no destinations.  I am not getting through this forest, I am exploring it.  so, no matter what I find, I’ll be happy to add it to my experience.



About heathencomehome

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