I need more practice writing. Less time between posts on here.
I think I could be a writer. Ha, I guess I am. But, I think I could actually be good at it.
However, it is so not linear. LIke, I do not know the path from ‘here’ to ‘there’ with this whole thing. But, I’m just starting out here–with practice.
Writers read. I read. A lot. A variety of a lot.
I have a voice. A unique voice. A voice that I guess people would like to hear.
Perhaps it needs to be more directional. It needs more focus. It needs more of a purpose. Haha-oh wow, all of of those things I feel my life needs too–interesting…
So, that’s all I’m doing right now. Practicing.
I just practiced a bit with my mom yesterday and today via emails back and forth. Sometimes I feel completely open with my mom. Other times I feel like I need to protect her from me and some of my ideas and feelings. But, when I stop worrying about her feelings we actually have a fantastic dialogue. SHe inspires me. SHe is giving me practice. And motivation. And topics other than me! I really appreciate that! She stimulates me. I have very few people in my life who can so passionately stimulate me. She is one. I have a passion for my mom! Haha–guess that’s why we fight so much and so hard! (:
I want to be a feeling space for people. That is what I ultimately want. I want to be that feeling space that people can fall into in reflection. I want to be that as an actress. I feel I could be that as a writer. I’ve felt that with writers and musicians and artists and some works. I’ve felt that I’ve fallen into a feeling space of shared wordless soul-to-soul communication. I have a deep and vast feeling space for such things. I feel I have that and it is that same hole in me. My emptiness. It is where I fall and a place I want to uncover and allow others to fall safely and gently and completely into.