An Assignment

I have been writing here in my blog much less since I started my writing class.

But, so what.

Let’s just do this  transformation line assignment. Oooh, there’s one: I have been writing less.

I have been writing. I have been writing so I obviously [adverb :/] not talking. I’ve not been talking. I’m not talking. I’m silent.

Yup, I’m silent. I’m so silent that it’s noisy sometimes. That is why I write. I write because I don’t talk. Not with my voice. Ha–that very voice I’m learning to develop in my writing class. How ironic.

I’m silent. I have no voice. I don’t speak because I can’t speak. I silence myself. I muzzle myself. I have a chain around my own neck. I yank it every time I open up my mouth to really really speak.

So, I write. I write right here right now as I clench my mouth shut and bite my own lip and I hold tighter and tighter to my pen and pound harder and harder on the keys as words and fingers move faster and faster.

My mouth clenches tighter. I hold that voice back. That one that could actually (is that another adverb…?…dammit) vocalize the words I’m writing. Because I don’t know if I don’t know. I don’t know who I am.


About heathencomehome

question marks & ellipses
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One Response to An Assignment

  1. Adesh Kaur says:

    oh mary!
    yes and yes again, thank you for sharing your heart song.
    you are a voice that vibrates, even though, as you say, “my mouth clenches tighter.” cuz that is what the silence yells. the truth of who you/we really are.
    and boy o boy, do i ever resonate with that.
    sure do love you and your “silence.”

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