I’m waiting for Jenny to tell me what it is she is most passionate about.
Jenny is the name of the character in my novel. Yup, the novel I am writing.
She is about to tell me. I can feel it. But, she is a bit vulnerable right now–I can feel that, too.
I don’t want to force anything on her right now that she is not comfortable with. However, at the same time, I kind of want her to remain in a bit of discomfort. That is where change happens. That is where action happens. THat is when a spark can ignite an entire flame.
I can feel her ready to really reveal some things to me.
What does all this mean for me right now?
Probably that I am about to reveal some big things in my life as well.
Because, she and I are one. I’m not writing an autobiography, but I am writing it. It is only me writing it. I can only write the words, thoughts, ideas, feelings that are within me and originate from deep down at my core. So, no matter what I create, it is me. In fact, it may be more me than the conscious me writing this right now.
I think this character is teaching me how to treat myself, as well. I feel like a have a child. I am finding myself loving towards her while not agreeing with all of her choices.
This is the only type of children I ever want to have. I already feel stress from my fictional character…I can’t imagine the intensity it would be from an actual human being created from 50% of my DNA.
That’s a bit too heavy for me. I’ll stick with the characters alive within me and nurturing them to the best of my abilities. Because then I am really learning to nurture my own soul.