Hill Replaces Ocean

I want to write and have things racing through my head and through my heart that very soon need to find an outlet.

THey just keep re-circulating through me and it feel like all of my blood is a million years old. I feel like none of my cells have multiplied to create their baby successor cells today.

I feel old. But not old negative old. I feel old like tired old. I feel like I lived a decade in a day.

I didn’t even do anything except have fights in my head all day.

All freaking day.  And all I fights I lost.

And now I’m going to bed defeated.

And will start tomorrow with a negative score.

I’ll be climbing all day. Up a hill I made. And keep making bigger and taller each and everyday.

I have the power to flatten that hill in a day.

But I don’t. I just keep climbing it slower than I build it.

Getting further behind.

And then just sitting here on my laptop writing about it.

And making a mountain out of  my mole-hills.

Because I enjoy climbing things.

Because I enjoy a good workout.

Because the view is better from the top.

If I ever allow myself to get there.

The taller my hill, the long my climb…but what a killer view I’ll have up there.

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About heathencomehome

question marks & ellipses
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