Another

So, my grandma sent me an email just the other day.
Man oh man I wish I could just use that as this whole rigamaroll
whatchamacallit…how the fuck should I know, you know what I’m talkin’ about?
No, of course not. You don’t know a thing about me.
Yeah, so, anyway, yeah…I wish I could talk like my grandma.
(I’m trying now, if ya can’t tell.)
Too the point. No mumble jumble. Spare the details. No emotion.
This happened and then this happened and so-and-so did this the other day.
How’s the weather? How’s the crops?
Chit-chat in a form letter.
Back to the basics, yada yada yada.
Gotta get back to my errands.
And all that jazz.
How’s the weather?
Did I already say that? Oh well, no such thing as caring too much.
Yeah. Whatever.
Nothing too heavy, man.
Is this what you want from me?
I’m so not getting this.
I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Do people say that anymore? I dunno.
I do. Because she does, ya know?
uh. um. pause. like, I mean, I just don’t know…
smiley faces are the new black.
dontcha know?
well, they are. get with the times and start livin’ a little.
For Christ’s sake take that stick outta your asshole and wake up.
ok. will do. Gotcha. mmm-hmmm. I’m on it. Right away as soon as I…well, you know…I have a lot of shit to do…
Not really. I”m just fucking with you.
ooops. ooopsie-daisy. I’m outta here. Fuck this.
ok. I get it. I get it. You don’t have to tell me twice.
Well, ok, I mean…maybe you do but just this once. I swear. Pinky swear. Listen up.
<crickets>
ummmm….yeah….kinda like that.

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About heathencomehome

question marks & ellipses
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One Response to Another

  1. Gary Ammirati says:

    Dig! You ramble well.

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