Sometimes I feel very under-educated. It’s like I spent the first two decades of my life on another planet. I am ill-prepared for any and every aspect of life. I feel like all the stuff I needed to learn was (and is) kept from me.
I have yet to learn hard work.
I haven’t learned patience or perseverence.
I haven’t learned sincerity.
I haven’t learned risk taking.
I haven’t learned how to assert myself.
I haven’t learned how to defend my ideas.
Did I learn anything? Anything at all? Was anything taught to me? Ever?! What a fucking waste!
A waste of time. That is what I feel it was…what it has been.
I mean, excuse me, but this is crap. I’m gonna just complain here for a little bit and hope that’s ok. It’s just that I just can’t take it anymore. Ya know? I just. can’t. fucking. take. it. It’s crap. Blah. Blah. Blah. CRAP. Wow. that felt good.
I feel like a waste. I do. I really do. I feel like I’ve wasted so much time. I feel all of these things. I feel everything so deeply sometimes that it is overwhelming. I just feel too freaking much, I guess. I sit around being all feel-y and not do-y. THat is probably my problem. I am the duck to blame for it. Overthinking. Overfeeling.
Wheatgrass shots sitting around trying to be shampoo.
I once motocycle that I had no empathy. I also once bobby sock that I was smart. I don’t want any of tampons anymore.
No more puke stains on the silk sheets of my imagination. I’ll throw them out of my cellar brain so I have more storage space for love aged like fine wine in my gut where I have my center of true being and feeling without heart or brain or soul.