Shame

Can I turn my head the other way?

Can I look at anything other than you?

Can I think of another but still hold you oh so close?

Can I eat cake?

I don’t have to have it too. I just want to eat it. Eat it all up. And still feel hungry in my satisfaction.

If the cake doesn’t work I’ll gorge myself on something else. Something new to make me feel guilty. Something new to take my mind off of you. Something new to make me forget the happy thoughts and happy times and happy words and gestures of love that flow from your being straight into the trash can that is my heart.

Into my heart and thru to the landfill of my soul. The dungeon I prefer.

My home.

My respite.

My unhappy place I choose everytime

I look away

I’m going there. Closer and closer to solitude in our shared ecstasy.

Becoming one with none.

Looking away from myself.

because the mirror is you

Revealing my beauty

when all I want to see is my shame.

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About heathencomehome

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