I don’t know where I am coming from or where I am going.
But, I’m going.
I’m going a million miles a minute without stopping.
I want to fly by you like a bullet train.
I want to be faster than you blink.
I want you to miss me before you even knew I existed.
Give me no second thought.
Please, ignore me. I beg it of you.
I am on my knees at your alter and the old woman’s stained lace dress falls off my young woman’s hard body.
I’m too old to be too young for this.
If I sit next to you in the candlelight, don’t look at my body…or my face. Just into my eyes. Only my eyes. The only part of me that exists is behind them plotting suicide.
And all you want me to do is smile and make love to you.
I’ll do that.
I can do that.
I’ve always done that.
But, don’t look at me. Don’t look at my body. Don’t look at my face.
Close your damn eyes if mine are too dark to reflect love back at you.
One touch. I’ll allow you one touch. One touch only. One touch per person.
Touch me anywhere only once. And never again. Go away and forget me not while I never knew you.
Goodbye is all my heart knows how to say.