sometimes I just don’t want to be anymore
This is so scary. And so thrilling.
Can you feel the rushing speeding up of my heartbeat.
It beats in smiles and expectation and fantasy of imagined ecstasy
Over and over again. Each and every day.
My face softens as the rest of me tenses before the big release.
I just wanted you to like me. That’s all.
That’s all I ever wanted.
I wanted you to like me so that I would like me.
And I still want this.
I want to like me.
I want to like me when you like me.
I want to like me when you touch me and make everything alright.
I want to like me when I go to bed at night.
I want to like me when I see myself naked.
I want to like me when I wake up in the morning.
I feel so very focused and undistracted.
All eyes inside are my laser beams on you. On your body. Piercing holes into your soul. Where I can light my fire. And camp out and nestle in. And get warm.
Can I go inside you when you go inside me?
I want that. I want to go inside someone else. And release my own shell.
I’ll be free then. I’ll fly then. I’ll fly away from me. I’ll soar into Divinity. My wings will become unbound. You’ll see. You’ll see me up above. In my glory.
You can ride on my wings.
But first you have to promise me you’ll never clip them.