An Island

I think I want a sister. Always have. I think all girls born without another familial female peer are plagued to wander through life askew.
Distrusting and misunderstanding my own awkward self through all the phases of my life as I’ve never quite learned to embrace.
I want to love a woman. But with every attempt I begin and end with hate. Contempt. Jealousy. Confusion. Heartache. Empty.
Because I’m not ready to see the me she is staring back at me. I’m not ready to be friends with my mirror. I’m not ready to send kisses to my reflection. I’m not ready to hold my own soul in non-judgment wrapped in the blanket unconditional.
I’d rather throw rocks at the hers the line the walls of my dark heart. Running as fast as I can at warp speed through my dreams when the witches haunt me with melancholy. Looking for my knight in shining armor to save me from the bad ladies.
All the ladies.
My mother
My own Gaia mother earth herself.
That is why I seek my sister nonexistent. Call out to her at night and sing a love song to the woman mistress partner in laughter I cant quite grasp or understand until one day escape my tortured island life and sail away from the lonely into her presence in the ocean of my nightmares.
She is my ship.


About heathencomehome

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