His Name

I will put you on

a shrine while the pedestal

is under repair.

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CVS

I bought some mascara last night. Mascara and toilet paper. That’s really all CVS is good for. And eyeliner and bleach. I have to wait for one other thing I need before I go there. I cant just buy toilet paper. I need something else to pair with it. Las night it was mascara

Now that mascara sits on my dresser. Unopened. Waiting its turn at the tip of my eyelashes. Waiting to brush right up to the edge of my eyelids. Waiting to paint me in strokes of black. Waiting to match my jeans and my soul and my pen. Black pens.

The DMV and the post office and other government official establishments make you use black pens to fill out their stupid forms. And it’s at all of those places that I always only seem to have a blue pen. I’m such a fucking rebel. The blue pen rebel in her black jeans, black mascara, and black heels because I also rebelled and wore black pumps just to renew my passport. Oh, and the black camisole tank top too. Because gotta complete the look, ya know?

Heaven forbid I leave the house in the transparency of white

Naked

Alone

Afraid

Nipples hard

All for what?

For heads turned away in shame?

For a new seat at the table of love?

For my prince charming savior on his stallion?

No. For a new bottle of bleach, a 12-roll pack of CVS-brand toilet paper, and some new black fucking mascara.

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Ocean Ode

I want to take my

Top off in front of the sea.

I will point westward. 

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Instagram Meditation

“Am I going to

Look pretty in this picture?”

All I need to know. 

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I am waiting for my fantasy.

You ever feel hungry

like something died inside 

you?
Like the bugs are all chewing it up?

Like it is festering and green

Turning to dull olive tones 

And then to brown?
Like you have to pull energy back up

from your toes and your feet

and your ankles just to get your legs up and out of the chair

you thought you would die in?

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Kids

Don’t make me do that

adult thing where I have to

make little humans. 

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Panty Raid

I am looking for 

love inside my underpants 

that I do not wear.

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